Communicating in Countries Where the People Haven't the Sense to Learn Plain English

Having problems communicating in a foreign country? Here are four sure fire winners used by American travelers all over the world:

1) If the person doesn't understand English. Just keep repeating it louder and louder. Everyone knows increased volume increases comprehension. Shouting is sometimes the best way to get understanding into their thick skulls.

2) If the person doesn't understand you, try speaking in broken English. If they can't understand smooth grammatically correct sentences, surely they'll follow you if you leave out words. "Where go for food?" "Me want drink." "No want eat caterpillar." "Heap big bug in shower stall."

3) If numbers 1 and 2 don't work, they'll surely understand you better if you will speak English with the accent of their language. Like in Mexico, speak English like a Chicano. In France… wit zee Freench acceent. If that doesn't work they probably don't know their own language either.

4) And, lastly, if the person doesn't understand what you are saying, write it down for them to read. Surely they aren't illiterate too!

Proven helps in crossing the language Barrier

1) In most parts of the world, if you are patient, you can find someone who speaks some English. Most people that deal with tourists will know some if not a lot of English. If the person you are dealing with doesn't know English, just turn around to the crowd and ask out loud, "Does anyone here speak English?" I have found that if there is a crowd around, someone will speak up. Exception: packed like Sardines on a train deep in China we didn't find an English speaker until squeezing past at least 40 million people to get to the sixth train car. And his English was limited to "Drink Coca Cola".

2) Most people, even if they can't or won't speak English, know more English than you think. So, watch out what you say. It's amazing how often I can point at something and say a simple sentence and they know exactly what I want or mean.

3) Believe it or not, home-made sign language goes a long way. Think of it as playing charades. It can be very entertaining. For instance, bathrooms in foreign lands often lack toilet paper, act that request out and you'll see what I mean.

4) Learn a few words or phrases of the native language. At least learn "Hello" and "pardon/excuse me". "I'm sorry," is good too. Add that to "I'm a stupid American that can't speak (the local language)" and I find people respond with a laugh and are very helpful. Just as we in America like to at least hear foreigners try to speak English, people in the other lands feel the same way. "You're in our country. Learn the language!"

5) Most Americans are arrogant buffoons in other lands. Humble yourself, be polite and patient with those that must be patient with you. Remember, you're the one with the language problem.

6) Many places that cater to tourists will have a lot of stuff written in English that will help you... particularly restaurant menus. English is like the international trade language. Therefore, many foreign tourists look for help in English too. Take time to look for these "helps" for English speakers.